Monday, 29 December 2014

The cold never bothered me anyway

There has been a bit of a frost here in the UK.
Met Office warnings of maybe half an inch of snow in some parts of the country- don't travel unless absolutely necessary!
Public transport will no doubt grind to a halt.
Panic buying of supernoodles at the local supermarket.

Fret not, fellow Brits- the shortest day has been and gone!
Soon it will be drought conditions and hosepipe bans.

Here is a wintry cartoon.
Do I need to explain it?
It's a wardrobe- in a frozen landscape- a witch and a lion might be nearby.

Friday, 12 December 2014

Stop the Cavalry

It's almost that most wonderful time of the year...again.
The winter solstice is approaching.
Buy things for people!
Such as this book.

I have a couple of things in there- such as...

yeah yeah- I know- not very Christmassy.

Here's something a bit jollier looking that was an idea for a Christmas card cartoon for PrivEye. It wasn't taken. The joke wasn't that good, so as usual I have left out the caption- but as per other rejections I still like the drawing so here it is.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

haysi fantayzee

The 'selfie' is everywhere, isn't it?
Apart from on this blog.
Until now, that is!
Here I am!

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Not Gatwick

Just returned from another trip to Italy.
The usual wandering around the timeless city of Florence.
Oh, the art and the architecture!

Here's a picture of a car park at an airport.

Wednesday, 12 November 2014


Two new cartoons- just published in The Oldie.
They're not really new. They were drawn almost 2 years ago.
That's how long it can take for cartoons to go round and round various markets before someone eventually recognises their (my) genius.

The funeral one is B&W in the mag- not sure why I didn't send this colour version

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Let's be Frank

It's the 40th anniversary of Ali v Foreman 'Rumble in the Jungle' today.
I used to love watching boxing- when you could see it for free on the telly before cable/satellite pay per view took over.
These days it's a bit more of a pantomime- the gender realignment of managers being more newsworthy than the bouts it seems.
Viewers of UK Celebrity Big Brother might know what I am on about here.
I drew a cartoon about it- which was accepted- but not printed- I didn't get paid- out for the count...bish bosh-wallop-thud-ouch.

Friday, 17 October 2014

"The Decay Of Lying - An Observation"

Here's a cartoon I have in the current Private Eye magazine.
I'm trying to make some point about something or other.
(the magazine edited my caption slightly- mine said 'latest pop video'. A subtle difference. I bow to their editorial decisions.)

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Mel and Kim- Respectable...??

Why is a baking competition one of the most popular progs on British telly right now?
I don't get it.
Apparently there was some sort of brouhaha on one of the early episodes of the current 'Great British Bake Off'.
I had a quick look- no bloodshed as far as I could see.
I think someone said 'tut' at someone else for some reason??

Maybe that's why I couldn't sell this cartoon at the time.
(The other reason being it ain't funny, of course)

Note: I was going to use 'strawberry jam' in the caption- but I thought ‘raspberry coulis’ (whatever the hell that is) sounded more middle class and more in keeping with the programme's demographic.

Monday, 22 September 2014


'Profit forecast inquiry'
'Executives suspended'
'Shares dive'

Just some of the headlines from today.

Maybe certain people should have gone on the sort of training courses I had to complete recently.
I was going to say, 'attend recently'- but the days of going on a week's jolly of residential training are long gone.
It's all Computer Based Training now.
Sat in front of my computer screen for the mandatory Ethics and Compliance course- clicking 'next' to questions such as-
"Julio gets offered a gold plated turtle by his supplier, Ramon. Should he take this or not?"
(I work for an American company)

All very interesting (hmmm), but I am not sure how this newly acquired ethical knowledge affects how I change toner cartridges in the canteen manager's office...sigh.

This is in the current Private Eye magazine-

If you happen to work for a large multinational company- try doing a web search of your company's name and terms such as 'fined', or 'lawsuit', etc etc. You might find some interesting results that probably won't appear in the quarterly staff newsletter.

Thursday, 11 September 2014

Cuckoo Waltz

I'm usually very self critical about my cartoons- but this one I quite like

This is in the current Spectator magazine. It's a Scottish referendum special.
Maybe this family are all wearing kilts...

Friday, 5 September 2014


Terrible lunch yesterday- I revisited a pub I used to live next door to (literally- I could hop over my back garden wall into the pub's car park). They used to do nice grub- now they do not.

And the place was clean, bright, and smelled of toilet cleaning products. I preferred the old days of dark murkyness and ancient tobacco fug.

A pub cartoon from the current Saga magazine.

Thursday, 4 September 2014

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

So, I went to Kew Gardens yesterday.

Gosh, it's a popular place for 'yummy mummies'.
And they're so enthusiastic about everything their offspring does- bless.

Balthazar- play nicely with Acanthus!
Look, Tilly- a leaf- wow!! Isn't it amazing?!
Wow! Tilly! You've picked up the leaf- that's so clever!
Flintlock! Flintlock! Over here! Look- it's a...umm...a plant, thing!
Clever boy- you've pulled up a rare orchid from its award winning display!
You wanted to see the root system, didn't you?
Oh, wowie wow!- that's such a creative thing to do, Flinty!

I took refuge in the canopy in the Palm House.

(Some cartoons soon...)

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Long Walk

A whole week off from the day job- and for a change I have stayed at home rather than flying off to islands in the Mediterranean.
It's a good opportunity to work on arty stuff
Time to draw cartoons- paint pictures- finally write that poptastic synth tune!

So, as usual, I went to the pub for lunch.

(good of them to reserve a space for the old Jag...cough...)


Ham and egg and chips (proper chunky fat cooked chips- not 'fries'), followed by sticky ginger sponge with caramalised plums with ice cream. Highly recommended if you ever find yourself in Windsor.

I'll draw some toons tomorrow- maybe. forecast looks OK...haven't been to Kew gardens for a while...some good pubs near there too...
Ho hum.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Hay there

This blog has been trundling along for a few years- One of the early posts was about pop/rock festivals.
I too old and crumbly these days to even think about heading off to such hedonistic events. A comfy deckchair and a cucumber sandwich is more my scene now...

This is from the current Spectator magazine

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

The Love Cats

Predictions of the future in a film from the not so distant past...
"The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defence. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware 2.14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th...."

Well, that didn't happen.
So what did become of Skynet?

It turned into the internet.

(this one is in Private Eye magazine)

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Pitti Vintage

Once upon a time we had jumble sales- community centres full of psychotic grannies elbowing each other in the kidneys to get the best bargain.
These days it's more about pop-up shops selling 'vintage'.

A cartoon in The Spectator magazine

(I'm sure I still have stuff from the 80's...does that make me a vintage fashion victim, or am I just rubbish at buying new clothes?)

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

A cartoon!

Enough of the holiday pics- I'm supposed to be a cartoonist- so here is a cartoon from The Spectator a few weeks ago.

Sunday, 13 July 2014


No cartoons again.
Instead you lucky people get to hear about yet another holiday...and yet another island in the Mediterranean.
Sicily this time- got back yesterday (flight of 1200 miles took 3 hours- as did 45 mile journey from Gatwick to home...thank you 'fast track' e-passport queue and the combined efforts of Southern and SouthWest trains- pah!)

I stayed here...

These days it looks a bit more like this...

Some streets in Ortigia, Siracusa look like this...

And the Piazza Duomo, Ortigia looks like this...

There are lizards...

And there are Spiders...

And I mostly floated about in here...
(which was nice)

Friday, 27 June 2014


The longest day has passed- phew!
Night will soon be arriving at a sensible time, and with luck I might lose the summer artistic block.
It happens every year- maybe I shouldn't bother trying and just accept stuff is sub standard when it is warm and pleasant outside my window.
No decent ideas for a couple of months- no takes by the mags- but I do have something in print. 

This cartoon was thought up about 2 years ago and was originally drawn in my usual scratchy style.
I redrew it to send to some overseas markets- made it a bit glossier and 'finished'.
They didn't take it- but it did find a home back on these shores- in the cosy embrace of Saga magazine.

In case you're interested- compare and contrast...

Original drawing

The redraw- oh, and with the caption...

I also had another version with some extra detail- in case it wasn't clear what the joke was about- but then I wondered if that would make people think I was underestimating them...agghh! So I didn't send it.
I worry too much I reckon.
But here it is anyway

I still prefer the scratchy one- and I think the painting is nicer in that one too.
(If that really had been a Rembrandt it would have had a frame- something nice and ornate- but let's pretend not to notice that)

Monday, 16 June 2014

Ricky Lenin of the Rovers

The footie world cup is on- I’ve watched a few matches and have enjoyed it so far. I don't follow the sport at any other time, but who can resist the lure of Faroe Islands v Equatorial Guinea (live from São João do Rio do PeixeLott, on ITVRubbish at midnight)?

I was told once by a cartoon editor that most mags don't take football related cartoons.
I'm using that excuse as to why this one wasn’t taken- although it being not very good and a bit obscure could be more genuine reasons.
I drew it ages ago-after the death of a football coach, who I recalled was vilified by the press and hounded out of his job by fans- but was elevated to sainthood through the act of having a heart attack.
I was trying to make a point about the mawkishness and hypocrisy of the sport- football is now a game of two halves, typically preceded by a minute's silence respect for someone or other...

Sunday, 8 June 2014

pròxima parada...Plaça d'Espanya

I haven't drawn any cartoons for ages.
And I am not sure if I have anything in print at the moment.
So, to fill a gap in this blog, here is a pic from my hols...just returned from Mallorca yesterday.

I had always thought it was a grim, package holiday hell of a place (Brits of a certain age will know what I mean- y'know- "the water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughtta.")
But it's lovely.
Most people just head for the beaches...I spent a week on buses, trains, and walking up hills.

Friday, 23 May 2014

Eternity was in our lips and eyes

Cartoonists are sometimes accused of being bitter old cynics- but we can also show the sweet and romantic side of life too.
A cartoon of mine in this week's Spectator magazine.

Saturday, 10 May 2014

New Gold Museum Highgate

So...a few months ago I won some shoes, courtesy of The Spectator magazine and John Lobb.
For reasons I won't go into here it's taken some time for me to get them.
I picked them up today- woop!

Nice box

Hmm...fancy packaging


I'm too scared to wear them- my car is worth less than their retail price.

Sunday, 27 April 2014

Across the Andes by Frog

Time for another failure- another of my personal favourites that I cannot sell.

Thursday, 24 April 2014

Thursday, 17 April 2014

Dennis, come back with me apple pie

Turning computers off and on again in leafy Surrey has been getting in the way of things recently- so here are two toons to make up for the lack of posts.
Both of these are in the current Spectator

Hmm- seems I'm having a go at the youth.
Fair target for mockery in my opinion- they're rubbish aren't they? With their smooth complexions and full heads of hair.


Thursday, 3 April 2014


A cartoon poking fun at obsessions...
(I shall keep quiet about the various guitars I own that I cannot play)

This one is in the latest Spectator magazine

Friday, 28 March 2014


Just got back from a couple of days wandering about that Florence place.
Art and architecture overload!

I imagine this girl was thinking- "If only there was something worth photographing round here..."

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Plumb crazy

I tried to change a washer in a tap ('faucet' for all you colonials) once.
The resultant flood damage took weeks to rectify.

Sunday, 23 February 2014

lionel blair

BBC Radio 4 recently broadcast an adaptation of The Exorcist.
It was pretty scary- but not as scary as UK property prices...

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Flood relief

Private Eye magazine has a 'Flood Special' as their latest issue- one of my cartoons is in it.

(You can't see it, but there's a large puddle outside that pub)

Sunday, 26 January 2014

A whole new you - in 14 days!

I cannot draw blokes!
Spent all day yesterday trying to draw a chap at a desk- it is hopeless.

This is why most of my cartoons seem to feature women- such as the one below.
The subject being about new and old media- they're not so different- it's just that one tends to be a bit more subtle than the other.

The idea was inspired by an email from a chum stuck in a doctor's waiting room:
"...Womens magazines are awful, aren't they? Its all envy and self loathing. I'm making do with a cat magazine. Its for crazy cat ladies, clearly, but its less toxic than the others."

(The only reason I am writing this blog post is to put off drawing the 7 or so cartoons I need to finish by Monday- I'm having school homework flashbacks- damp and dreary Sunday with the clock ticking...all I need now is the theme tune to 'That's Life' to start up and the panic will be complete)

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Judith Kerr

Any of you lot out there reading this drivel have kids?
Do you read to them at bedtime?
Here's my version of 'The Tiger Who Came to Tea'.

Hope the little kiddiwinks don't have nightmares...

Sunday, 12 January 2014


Enough of that horrid cartoon in the previous post- here's one from a more genteel era.
I drew this back in 1908.