Allegedly

'Profit forecast inquiry'

'Executives suspended'

'Shares dive'

Just some of the headlines from today.

Maybe certain people should have gone on the sort of training courses I had to complete recently.

I was going to say, 'attend recently'- but the days of going on a week's jolly of residential training are long gone.

It's all Computer Based Training now.

Sat in front of my computer screen for the mandatory Ethics and Compliance course- clicking 'next' to questions such as-

"Julio gets offered a gold plated turtle by his supplier, Ramon. Should he take this or not?"

(I work for an American company)

All very interesting (hmmm), but I am not sure how this newly acquired ethical knowledge affects how I change toner cartridges in the canteen manager's office...sigh.

This is in the current Private Eye magazine-

If you happen to work for a large multinational company- try doing a web search of your company's name and terms such as 'fined', or 'lawsuit', etc etc. You might find some interesting results that probably won't appear in the quarterly staff newsletter.

Cuckoo Waltz

I'm usually very self critical about my cartoons- but this one I quite like

This is in the current Spectator magazine. It's a Scottish referendum special.

Maybe this family are all wearing kilts...

?

Disaster

Terrible lunch yesterday- I revisited a pub I used to live next door to (literally- I could hop over my back garden wall into the pub's car park). They used to do nice grub- now they do not.
Yuck:

And the place was clean, bright, and smelled of toilet cleaning products. I preferred the old days of dark murkyness and ancient tobacco fug.

A pub cartoon from the current Saga magazine.

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

So, I went to Kew Gardens yesterday.

Gosh, it's a popular place for 'yummy mummies'.

And they're so enthusiastic about everything their offspring does- bless.

Balthazar- play nicely with Acanthus!

Look, Tilly- a leaf- wow!! Isn't it amazing?!

Wow! Tilly! You've picked up the leaf- that's so clever!

Flintlock! Flintlock! Over here! Look- it's a...umm...a plant, thing!

Clever boy- you've pulled up a rare orchid from its award winning display!

You wanted to see the root system, didn't you?

Oh, wowie wow!- that's such a creative thing to do, Flinty!

I took refuge in the canopy in the Palm House.

(Some cartoons soon...)

Long Walk

A whole week off from the day job- and for a change I have stayed at home rather than flying off to islands in the Mediterranean.

It's a good opportunity to work on arty stuff

Time to draw cartoons- paint pictures- finally write that poptastic synth tune!

So, as usual, I went to the pub for lunch.

(good of them to reserve a space for the old Jag...cough...)

Spooky!

Ham and egg and chips (proper chunky fat cooked chips- not 'fries'), followed by sticky ginger sponge with caramalised plums with ice cream. Highly recommended if you ever find yourself in Windsor.

I'll draw some toons tomorrow- maybe.

Hmmm...weather forecast looks OK...haven't been to Kew gardens for a while...some good pubs near there too...

Ho hum.

Hay there

This blog has been trundling along for a few years- One of the early posts was about pop/rock festivals.

I too old and crumbly these days to even think about heading off to such hedonistic events. A comfy deckchair and a cucumber sandwich is more my scene now...

This is from the current Spectator magazine

The Love Cats

Predictions of the future in a film from the not so distant past...

"The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defence. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware 2.14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th...."

Well, that didn't happen.

So what did become of Skynet?

It turned into the internet.

(this one is in Private Eye magazine)