go team go

The court jester blocked my path- there seemed no way out.
To my left was Copenhagen- to my right, Paris- I towered above the streets- a colossus engaged in battle with evil.
A noise behind me- it was the giant Smurf- his bulk blocked the other end of the path.
All seemed lost. They knew I wouldn’t try to escape across the urban sprawl below me.
I had to keep to the one true path, and not sacrifice the tiny innocents that would be crushed beneath my M&S trainers should I try to run across the cities.
Seeing my predicament, the jester raised his head in triumph and laughed menacingly- the tinkling of the tiny bells in his jester hat adding a sinister, umm... something or other.
Without warning I span round and launched myself at the Smurf- he wasn’t expecting such a reckless move and seemed paralysed as I used his beer belly as a launching pad and jumped clear over his head.
I was away! Triumphantly I hurdled the security fence and was free! I ran and I ran and I ran- to the welcome and safety of The Castle.

Don’t worry, reader- I’m not on the cough medicine again- that was a dramatisation of when I objected to daft team-building games at Legoland- Forced against my will to go, I lasted about 30 minutes before skulking out of the emergency exit and heading off to one of Windsor's many fine pubs instead.

Here's a team building cartoon in this month's Prospect- you have to know that I've ripped off a painting called 'Raft of the Medusa' by Gericault- and that raft building is the cliché of team-building exercises.
Hope you like the pretty colours, even if you don’t find it funny.